Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We had to coat check the pizza.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
