You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
