she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
