Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
