If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
