fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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