Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
