3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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