U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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