when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
