Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
