I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
