I smell stomach acid.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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