Can i not drive my cunt home
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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