angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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