sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
