party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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