saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
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I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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