Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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