I want to walk on stilts...naked
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
