Slut skills are useful in every country.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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