I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Come on in and take your pants off
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