Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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