is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
