sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
