I'm gonna have a badass scar
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize