i don't like sucking hair
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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