my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
