Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
