Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
