Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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