Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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