I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
