I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
