That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
