what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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