Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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