I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
