so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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