He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
