YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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