Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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