I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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