cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
