I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
