Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
