spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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