I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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