i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
