I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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