The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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